| IF |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|09:16 pm] |
I feel rather messed up right now. It hit me suddenly.
What Am I Doing With My Life?
I went into SMPS cos my sister was there, SMSS cos I had affiliation, I got afraid of rejection and I got super lazy thus I missed my DSA opportunity into ACJC, I really wanted to join the band life there but I was so lazy to get a proper score and practise, I chose whatever course my sister&I thought was best, I wanted to join DMAT in SP but then she said it's hard to get a job upon graduation so now I'm in Mass Com, I don't HATE Mass Com, but I don't love it either. I hate the media industry, I stand for everything against that industry. But It was my first choice, I got in, and now I wonder what it'd be like if I went into Psychology instead. Because at this point of my life I wanna be a counsellor.
I took piano since I was 4 years old and quit when I was in grade 5, I took violin for 3 grades and quit, I took electric guitar and quit, I learnt acoustic guitar from karen fifi and the internet, I learnt trumpet and french horn in band and stopped attending band after i graduated, my dad wanted me to learn the sax so he bought it for me but I took no classes. I tried to learn it on my own and uptil now, though I can play some songs, I am very sure my technique is wrong.
Now everything seems blur.
I guess all these little pieces add up to create the final masterpiece. Just that at the moment, I can't see what that masterpiece is. I can't even be sure that there IS a masterpiece.
--
--
I wouldn't get into SMSS if I weren't in SMPS. And if I weren't in SMSS, I wouldn't learn the horn trumpet guitar, I wouldn't start writing songs. If I got into ACJC, I wouldn't have met my awesome friends from NP, I wouldn't have had the chance to perform for people since it was a friend from NP who started me off. If I got into Psychology instead of Mass Com, I wouldn't be introduced to Copeland and Between the trees and I wouldn't have found awesome friends with great music taste and especially pangjea who plays the piano like free. I probably wouldn't have had the time to go take up tuition jobs.
If I hadn't quit piano I might have learnt to hate it. If I hadn't learnt piano at all, a big part of my life would be missing. If I hadn't quit violin I might've never started on guitar or bass.
We always complain, regret, wonder how much better life would've been if we hadn't made the decisions we made. But we often forget that along our "mistakes" and our "bad decisions", we got shaped into the people we are today. I believe that everything happens for a reason, I don't believe in coincidences. So yeah, everything might seem blur now. I might be juggling with many different interests, I might not be certain of my future, but I trust that God has a plan for me. He has a purpose for me in the world. And THAT is the masterpiece. Until I get there, I gotta keep believing and keep trusting. You don't need faith to believe in something that you KNOW will happen. You need faith to believe in something you have no cold hard proof or assurance in. So even though faith takes courage and faith exposes you to risks, you can be assured that God will show Himself to you in ways you will never see beforehand.
For all I know, my future has nothing to do with music.
For all I know, my future has nothing to do with Psychology NOR Mass Com.
All I know is, God has a plan for me and His plan will be alot greater than my own.
So even right now as we struggle with our issues, remember that all these will add up one day to something that will truly make your life worth living.
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| MERRY CHRISTMAS MR. LAWRENCE |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|08:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Ryuichi Sakamoto | ] |
One of my favouritest songs in the whole wide world!
My dream is to be as cool as them.
Pangjea on the piano, me on the violin, who plays cello?
AHH, CARISSA WHY ARE YOU SO INDECISIVE?
I'm not indecisive! I just want to do alot play alot of instruments but I can't possibly do that all at once can I?
I feel like getting a cello now. MEHHH no. I want an electric violin. yes.
I'd rather an electric violin than electric guitar. But I also want a baby grand piano. And a trumpet! And a good french horn. The only instrument I have that I'm completely satisfied with is the sax but I can't play! );
I want a bass too.
I wish I had many arms to play all these. Wouldn't it be so funnnnnnnnnn.
Mama ); I just wish to do all these with different bands.
Acoustic set like Kings of Convenience, Jazz band like Jaberloop chickcorea, Rock like Muse, awesome like Ryuichi Sakamoto Trio, Indie like Deerhunter and copeland and nadasurf and andrewbird, I want all these. Can I achieve all these before I die? Please?
Got all excited thanks to pangjea.
I'm going to ignore work and learn this on the violin now.
Thank you bye bye.
-
The day was FANTASTIC thanks be to God.
Met pangjea at usual starbux at 0800! The music was great, coffee was great, and before she came I did a little devotion. Starbux early in the morning is seriously great. Step in and the aroma is amazing. And there were only 4 other customers. So quiet, so peaceful. Studied for medsoc and got all excited for our Christmas plan. mehehehe (;
Then around 10am it got jam packed crowded ):
School was strangely great cos I actually enjoyed medsoc.
Must be God's divine intervention that the afternoon tuition called to cancel cos we had a lot of work to do for webgra.
I'm hungry.
byebye.
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| Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/9/09 |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:49 am] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) sixwordstories
Whether you're in the mood for a creative challenge or you're short on time or attention span, this semi-addictive community is perfect for those who find flash fiction way long. Once you get the hang of it, you won't be able to stop. The prince turned into a frog. The girl ran home to mother. Tough to write. Easy to read. It's a double threesome of fun. |
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| Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/9/09 |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:46 am] |
dailyfoodie
Delicious, ambitious, and occasionally nutritious dishes make for an eclectic, all-you-can-eat feast. Whether you're searching for recipes for your next dinner party or you're jonesing for a late-night brownie fix, your cravings are sure to be well sated. A warm and inclusive community that welcomes all orientations, from carnivores to vegans, from gourmands to junk-food junkies. Guaranteed bias-free, food-positive, and pan-epicurian. |
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| Attitude |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|07:15 pm] |
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important that appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you, we are in charge of our attitudes.
-Charles R. Swindoll
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| Faith + Practicality |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|10:33 pm] |
Faith + Practicality
Touchy subject today during Cogy.
At the end of the day, God helps those who helps themselves.
Collected donations for charity water today and I was super touched by the younger kids. They were so happy to give and this new girl who came gave even though she didn't know what it was for. Their generosity gives me hope. Praise God for their hearts.
Lunch with the sister was awesome good fun.
It's been a long time.
I BOUGHT KOC'S DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE!!! :D
It's CATS e learning tmr. Who goes to school for e learning!? I thought the whole point of e learning was to do work from home? The teacher told us to go to class tmr for e learning. whuttt. so we have to bring our laptops to school even though we have snw tmr. oh wellxzzxz.
Tomorrow is monday but it's okay.
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| Not because of who I am |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|11:51 pm] |
I lie if I say I never once doubted Christ.
I lie if I say I never once stop believing.
I lie if I say I never lost faith before.
But God's grace leads me back to the truth.
Time and again I fail Him,
But His faithfulness endures forever.
Not because of what I've done or who I am,
But because He loves me.
Because His faithfulness and grace pours out for me.
By the grace of God, I am a sinner saved.
This is why I can believe in something with no proof.
This is why I live for His purpose.
Christ didn't die for me because I believe.
He died for me while I was a sinner, that's why I believe.
It was not an exchange.
It was His love, for us.
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| Widya, Hyona, Jeannette, Alex, Michelle, Kongbob! |
[Nov. 7th, 2009|11:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Coldplay. | ] |
IT'S SUNDAY TOMORROW :D
Today has been blissful from start to end. Lunched with the rong rong and she bought me guylian chocs! :D
Met alex my dear vitalord. IT'S BEEN FOREVER!
me: free tonight?
alex: sure
me: let's meet.
alex: okay.
SOMETHING like that. catching up was gooood. shared life stories @ TCC. She was being all sentimental. ALEX, SENTIMENTAL.
Ben&Jerry's was great today thanks to my awesome pawesome friends. seriously you are the best. Widya, Hyona, Alex ^^
Half way through Broken Strings I looked up and saw KAREN AND MICHELLE!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC surprise :D love you guys ttm.
REASON #14823 WHY KONGBOB IS MY BESTFRIEND:
Haven't spoken to her in a week, she's super jampackedbusy with school work, she actually remembered my gig and came all the way down! she took a TRAIN eventhough she hates to take the MRT cos she has no concession for that. AWESOME RIGHT. AND she bought me VITASOY IN A BOTTLE!!!!!
Bumped into carol @ ION. gahh i miss you so much ):
OH. on the way out of cathay we bumped into pangjea. ABIT late ah, jeajea. but she ran from the station to cathay!!!! so touching aww. and mich missed THIS IS IT to come see me.
I am super blessed with awesome friends serious.
We'll be playing again nxt week at 8pm. Guess we'll be playing boyband songs nxt week.
And nxt week is crazy locvid week and time to study week.
Life is busy but life is good.
Life may not always be peaceful and good but it's okay.
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| FRIDAYYYYYY |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Sally's Song | ] |
Friday kept me crazy from 8am all the way to 11pm. I am tired, but strangely talkative and happy.
Locvid was entertaining as usual and we got to watch a super good film. Some Jeremy Toh's Final Project. It was so goooood! I would pay to watch it! The ending was THE BEST. The girly girls were screaming all. I just realised how tough it is to film a video. Kudos to SFV kids. People scare us and say that during locvid, alot of conflicts arise and friends break up. But it's also through tough times we get to see who our real friends are. Dionel is a damn awesome friend srs. I don't even know matthew but he helped out alot too anyway. and though ievan was being a SUPERSTAR he also helped alot.
I TOTALLY SCREWED UP MY PHOTOSHOP TEST! But it's aight I guess. I whined a lot and kept pleading with the teacher and I think she pities me.
She "It's okay. I know how hard you tried. You tried your best."
Me "Please don't fail me la please. First test of the sem already fail very demoralising! I cry for you want? Please don't fail me!"
She "haha. Okay okay. I know you tried your best."
AND I DID!
No point sitting for MarCom tutorial. No point at all. Jammed @ Cityhall with Michael after school. WAS. SO. TIRED.
Booked a cool studio at the esplanade. The grand piano was so ((((:
We have many instruments at home, including a clavinova, keyboard, antique piano,
BUT nothing compares to a baby grand piano.
That's why I spent most of my smss days in the hall playing. With peel oakum most of the time. Miss you, bea.
HIHI. If you're gonna be in town tmr night drop by Ben&Jerry's @ the Cathay! Me and Michael will be playing for open mic tmz.
Woots i LOVE my hobby.
It was so great today. In the day I carried my schoolbag. In the night I carried my guitar on my back. I felt so double-life kinda thing. heheheh.
OK i am too talkative tonight sorry bye bye. |
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| LiveJournal Major Notes: Spam counter-attack, RSS feeds again, CSI Deadly Intent contest |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|01:15 pm] |
The empire strikes backIn recent weeks, we've taken huge steps towards blocking spam accounts on LiveJournal. In fact, we've suspended as many as 30,000 accounts in a single day! We've implemented several pre-emptive measures to prevent the creation of spam accounts, and we've honed our detection of suspicious content. Spam bots are a crafty lot, so we'll continue to refine our tactics and keep up the good fight to keep you safe from spam attacks on LiveJournal.
RSS feeds againIf you're addicted to , ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/syndicated.gif) icanhaschzbrgr, or other syndicated feeds, we're pleased to report that we've resolved the update error that was mucking up your RSS feeds. While content was being pulled correctly, it wasn't being posted to the feeds themselves. Late last week, we finally nailed down what we hope was the root problem, so content should post properly. We thank you for your patience.
Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!
c_s_i
If you're a gamer who loves CSI, have Wii got news for you! c_s_i is sponsoring killer contests. Simply post a question to a member of the CSI crew. The winner will get a free copy of CSI: Deadly Intent for Nintendo Wii (with a retail value of $39.99) and get their question answered by a member of the CSI writing team! There's also a fantastic monthly contest. To enter, join c_s_i, play the online version of CSI: Deadly Intent, and respond to a two-part query for a chance to win a Wii! Entries will be judged on composition and originality. Sorry, but you must be a U.S. resident and over 18 years old to participate. Check out the rules here.
Enveloped in postcardsLast week, we asked you to send in postcards to help us decorate our drab concrete walls. Here's a photo of the results so far! Thank you so much and please keep them coming! You can mail them to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be giving ten random users paid account credits.
Photos of the weekIf you haven't visited our new LiveJournal photo community, you're in for an amazing visual trip. LiveJournal users from around the world will take you on a scenic journey to everywhere. Post your own pictures or kick back and enjoy at lj_photophile. You can view some of this week's awesome photos after the jump. Please start tagging with geographic location, since we'd like to track all the places around the world represented in this community. Keep on commenting too!
( Read more... ) |
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| LOC. VID. |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|10:24 pm] |
Great time spent with mich @ clementi tdy :D Thank God for how smooth things went. She ended early and called me just as i finished clicking on eLearning something something. Talked ALOT mostly about our friends. Sigh, heartbreaking. As she was about to leave Cupidshotme arrived. Super smooth timing. Waited for the superstar and hyonacool and met cupcakezx.
Loc vid, loc vid..
Film film film film GONE. Film film GONE. Fllm film GONE. Film GONE. GONE GONE GONE.
And due date is tmr at 8am.
But it's aight cos we had a great dinner tgt. Work sucks friends rule!
No point getting fed up over it anyway. It'll make us feel worse. Don't cry over spilt milk. Just do over. Work won't kill.
I was super super bummed out and then pangjea said "MUSE IS COMING" hehehehehehehehe
Still upset about pangjea's friend's godmother's unfair treatment towards us though. ARGH. enough! stop thinking.
Hello my dear friends. Embrace 8-6 Friday. We can do it! Photoshop test tmr. WE CAN DO IT!
After tomorrow, we'll enjoy the sweet sweet weekend.
(;
Listening to Absolution album now. I am picturing Spider Dom whacking the drums, Matt's solos, Chris's wicked bass lines.
MUSE IS COMING !!! JUST REMEMBERED!
I keep forgetting that they're coming. but it's okay because it feels like a major surprise everytime i remember that
MUSE IS COMING TO SINGAPORE. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|09:11 pm] |
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I honestly thought I felt likewise, but..
I'm fucking sorry, but this ain't mutual, though I really wished it was;
Things would be much less complicated then.
Such a indecisive jerk i am, damnit. |
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| Now I live to bring You praise |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|09:53 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Hillsong- None But Jesus | ] |
"All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope and all of my strength"
In the midst of chaos- Assignments, deadlines, responsibilities, struggling to fight my own demons, I will be still because You are Lord.
In this materialistic world where money, status, appearance is important, I will live to bring You Praise.
Even when friends hurt me, work piles up on me, emotions run crazy in me, I will hang on to the hope I have in You,
Because You were crucified to set me free.
Because You love me
And nothing is impossible for You.
I can't live on yesterday's food and strength, nor can I live on yesterday's faith.
Each new day again I'll choose You because there is no one else for me.
Now I live to bring You praise.
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| There is no one else for me. |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|12:44 am] |
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You're Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore
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| 3rd week of school |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|09:57 pm] |
I'm addicted to Sally's Song. Can't stop repeating in my head. Tim Burton oh genius.
Third week of school and already so much has happened. Why my dear friends are you so down? Education is important, school life demands of us right now, but school is not what we live for! For me, school is not about getting good grades and getting a good job with a good pay and leading a good life. If so, we have been working for money since we were 5!! Life isn't all about money, status, intellect. Life is about the journey, the process and the relationships you build along the way! We go to school to learn. Not just learn from our textbooks and modules, but learn other things as well. We learn to interact with different kinds of people, we learn to adapt to change, we learn when to be brave and when to keep our comments to ourselves, we learn how to deal with tough situations. Most of the things we learn that actually matter cannot be found in textbooks, but they are learnt when we plunge into "school life". We meet various sorts of people, break social norms, go against the currents and see the world through a different lens.
Yeah so there are other students who are smarter, more hardworking, get better grades. Why do we feel the need to suffer just to beat them and prove we are better? Yeah I know you say that this is the real world and what matters is your grades. You say you need some pressure to keep you going. But if you cannot draw the line, the pressure would be overwhelming! You would be sinking not growing!
You say you get to feel superior when you are "smarter". But is it worth the pain? Would you accept yourself for what you are? Whether you can do well in school or not? I'm not saying you should just slack and be lazy. I'm saying try your best and if there are others better than you so be it! There's really no point in comparing. The things that matter is what you get out of trying your best. You beat yourself. You challenge yourself. You learn to be discipline, humble, gracious.
My heart aches for those caught under this mad bubble.
When all they see is deadlines and essays and projects and tests and school school school.
I know I'm not the smartest in class (Jeska is. lol) I know I'm not the most laid back person, I may not be fit to be saying all this but
you really gotta have balance in your life if not you'll fall over!
School Life does not equate to School.
School means modules, lectures, tutorials, due dates, assignments.
School Life means friends, having fun, slacking off a bit at times, mugging together, encouraging each other.
Just because School sucks doesn't mean school life has to be so bad right?
When getting good grades becomes the most important thing to you, something has gone wrong.
Education is important but it's not all we live for.
We all need to take a chill pill and observe where we are.
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I feel really blessed to have such awesome friends. The few hours we spend tgt lepak-ing really helps make life in school a whole lot better. Tmr's starbucks-before-lecture-wednesday with the girls. I heart all of you seriously. Through "Copeland breakup" and "MUSE COMES TO SINGAPORE 2010 FEB 3" you guys are seriously awesome <3 Music is our universal language. PLEASE WATCH BLUE MANSION SOON PLEASE! I always wonder what life would be if I went to JC instead, but nah. I wouldn't change a thing.
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| Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/2/09 |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|09:55 am] |
aiyatheydidnt
The Chinese version of ONTD, AIYA is a dynamic international community that welcomes users who share a love of contemporary Chinese pop culture. Dedicated to celebrity gossip and entertainment news, you'll enjoy gorgeous photos and breaking stories featuring the glitterati of mainland China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong. |
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| Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/2/09 |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|09:53 am] |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wendylady2
Designed to rescue fashion victims everywhere, this Brit-based community reads like a rag-ezine. Published once or twice weekly, you'll view bizarre highlights of the global fashion scene through captivating photos and delightfully snarky editorial. Sit tight for a virtual fashion tour from the runways of New York to Milan to Paris and back home again to London in homage to the adage: you can't buy good taste. |
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| Spotlights: Homepage Spotlight 11/2/09 |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|09:51 am] |
soldiers_heart
A passionate community for veterans of all ages (mostly American), plus families, friends, and supporters. View poignant snapshots detailing life in combat and back on civilian soil in the form of original artwork, personal narratives, poetry, and photos. Be forewarned that members don't shy away from describing their disappointments, disabilities, and struggles. |
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